Tile Guy

Michelle is redoing the bathroom in her condo, so I went with her to look at tile at the flooring store.

This is something you do when you are a good boyfriend, which I am. The reason I know this is because Michelle said, “You’re a good boyfriend” after we left the store. And yes, she did use the term “boyfriend” so I am feeling pretty secure about our relationship so far.

At the tile store, they have samples hanging on the walls, leaning on display stands, and basically wherever there’s any spare space. Michelle went off to look at sample with one saleslady and I wandered around for a bit. Something occurred to me and I turned to the sales guy who was just straightening a display and said, “You guys have earthquake insurance?”

He was like, “Huh?” so I explained, “You know, because if a big one hits, pretty much everything in the store is going to break.” After all, it was like a proverbial china shop. Shit was going to fly off the walls and smash everywhere even if there was a little tremor.

He said he didn’t know about the insurance but he worked at the store in the Valley during the Northridge earthquake and he said they just tore down the store after that one. “You couldn’t walk into the place. There were shards of tile covering everything. The floors, the computers… they said there were slivers of tile in the Post-Its.”

I said, “Good thing you weren’t in the store at the time. It would have been like Mortal Kombat with that guy who shoots ice daggers.”

He laughed and said he loved Mortal Kombat. We talked for a while until Michelle pulled me away to give my opinion on her top choices.