Elevator Girl

I slept with Michelle.

After a week of ignoring my calls, she emailed me on Friday saying she couldn’t face me after what happened.

I told her we needed to talk about it. She reluctantly agreed but said she couldn’t meet me that night because she’s going out with Dan. She said she’d come by Saturday night instead. “Just to talk,” I reminded her.

She was supposed to come over my apartment at 8:00. She didn’t show and I was starting to get worried. I mean, who knows with her? Maybe Sports Agent Dan found out where she was going and took an axe to her. I texted her and she finally responded at like 9:30 with just “b there soon.”

She showed up at 11:15. She wasn’t drunk, so I was relieved about that. But the first thing she said to me was, “Do you have any wine?” It was clear it was to soothe nerves from earlier in the evening, not to prepare for later that night, so I gave her some wine.

She took a big drink and said, “I called off the engagement.”

Hearing those words suddenly flipped a switch in my head. My moral constraints had been keeping her advances at bay because she was with him. But as soon as she said those words, it was like when that bad guy got fired from OCP and Robocop was then free to kill him. Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best analogy given the circumstances but that’s what popped into my head.

We talked for a while about what Dan did wrong. How they fought all the time. How she broke it off on Friday night but then he tried to change her mind earlier in the evening Saturday. (That’s why she was late.)

Then we talked for a while about The Talk to Strangers Project. I basically explained the whole thing to her. How that, a year ago, I was lonely and isolated. I told her how I’ve met all these incredible people and gotten confidence to take control of my life.

She said it sounded like an amazing idea.

Then I looked at her and said, “I did it all to meet you.”

We kissed. Then… well, you know.

We spent the whole day together yesterday. We didn’t really talk about what it all means or where it’s going. I think neither of us wanted to define it or analyze things. I know I for one was afraid it might just go away. So we kind of avoided the subject.

I dropped her off and we kissed again.

I think this is the beginning of something huge, but I’m too afraid to think that thought, because I might jinx it.

The Help

Friday night was really… interesting. First of all, Michelle picked “The Help” to go see. They should have handed out Ziploc bags to the six men in the theater to store their balls.

There is no way any guy in the world would ever see that movie without the promise or hope of sex from their female companion. I was the exception, as I expected nothing from Michelle except maybe a little pre-wedding jitters and boring girl-talk about her fiance.

That’s not what happened. We saw the movie. It wasn’t that bad. I asked, “So should I drop you off?” She said, “Let’s get a drink.” I thought, “Oh, no, here it comes.”

We went to The Tavern in Brentwood for $15 drinks and Michelle finally explained why she wanted to see me.

“Dan and I are having troubles.”

I stopped her right there. I’d been preparing for this conversation all that day and so I knew what I was going to say. “Look, I’m not your girlfriend. I think it’s really shitty for you to dump this crap on me. I like you and I want to be your friend, but I’m not going to help you patch things up with some other guy.”

She seemed kind of shocked. She took a drink. Then she said, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

After that, things got a lot better. We agreed not to talk about relationships and we just talked. About normal stuff. About the movie. It was almost like it was back when I first met her. When she’s not acting all weird or drunk, Michelle is really great. She has a great sense of humor and she’s smart, too.

I took her back to her apartment complex and pulled over to the curb waiting for her to get out. I said, “Good night. This was fun.”

Then she kissed me.

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you know this isn’t the first time she’s done that. But I was still surprised. I didn’t fight it (duh) but after a good thirty seconds, I said, “Michelle, what are you doing?”

She said, “I don’t know.” She started crying. She said, “Things are really messed up right now.”

I said, “Go home. Go to sleep. Let’s talk about it tomorrow.” And she left.

I called her on Saturday and on Sunday but she didn’t return my calls.

How do I get into these situations?

Going Out with Elevator Girl?

Michelle just sent me an email inviting me to a movie. This is totally weird. I asked her if I should bring a date. Was Dan going to be there? She said, no, just the two of us.

Well, I’m fine with seeing a movie

but I can tell you right now, there’s one thing I’m not going to do, is listen to her cry on my shoulder about her fiance. I mean, I have no idea if she actually is having problems with him or not. But why else does she want to see me without him? I’m willing to be friends with her, but I’m not going to be some poor sap who listens to a girl he likes complain about some other guy she’s sleeping with.

Chloe, Meet Michelle

The party at Scott’s place was fun, until Michelle showed up!

I had no idea she had become friends with that director friend of Scott’s independently and got invited, so it was a pretty big surprise to see her there. Of course, she was there with her fiance, Dan, and something about seeing them together really set me off. Chloe could tell something was up because she pulled me aside and asked, “How do you know each other?’

What could I say? “Oh, she’s the woman I’m in love with who’s getting married to some other guy?” Instead, I said, “We work in the same building.”

Michelle waited until Chloe was in the bathroom to corner me and I guess she was drunk because she kept going on and on about “How come we don’t talk anymore?” I was like, “I think the frequency went down significantly after you got engaged!”

She said, “Remember when we kissed?” Yeah, like I’d forget that.

I said, “What are you doing?”

She said, “I don’t know.”

Nothing happened between us, but it made me see her in a new light. She was acting kind of stupid and it made her really unattractive to me. She made me promise that we’d talk more. Emails, lunches, that kind of stuff. I said I would.

Chloe came back and interrupted us. I left Michelle and asked Chloe if she wanted to go get something to eat (it was one a.m.). She sensed the subtext and said sure.

We didn’t actually go get something to eat, but we did go back to my place and we finally did it. I know most readers are thinking, “Wait, you guys haven’t done it yet?” We hadn’t. But now we have. I’m not going to go into that level of detail as to why.

But I was wondering if Chloe felt threatened. Michelle gets a rise out of me, even if it’s a negative emotion. It seemed like something about it made her need to “lock me in.” I’m not complaining but the whole thing makes my head hurt.

Game Over

I got an email from Michelle this morning saying she needed to talk to me about something.

So we met up for lunch and I’m not going to draw this out, she told me she’s engaged.

I know. What the fuck?! Right?

Apparently Sports Agent Dan was on-again, off-again, and I guess on-again, and that whole bullshit about “taking things slow” was total bullshit because she said yes.

What the fuck?!

She showed me the ring (who cares). I felt sick. She said, “I was hoping you’d be happy for me.” And do you know what I said?

I said, “Well, I’m not.”

That pretty much ended lunch. I took off and I haven’t been able to do any work since.

I thought she was just casually dating because THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID SHE WAS DOING! But I guess somewhere along the way, she fell in love with this douchebag and now they’re getting married. Well if she loves Dan so much, what was that whole kiss about back on Valentine’s Day? I am a wreck right now.

What the fuck?!

Elevator Girl Not Getting Off at My Floor

Michelle and I just had a long talk after work. We went out for drinks and I asked her how Valentine’s Day went. Here’s what she said:

“The guy was nice enough. Not that hot but he was funny. We had sex but I don’t think I’m going to see him again.”

I almost choked on my drink before she said, “Jesus, relax. I’m kidding.” It took me a minute to remember that I made that same exact joke awhile back.

Anyway, the guy is some sports agent and he sounds like a tool. She actually is going to see him again but she’s “taking it slow.”

I took the opportunity to lay things on the table.

“Look, Michelle, I’m pretty sure you know how I feel about you.”

She looked away and said, “Yeah.”

“I thought after you ended things with Adam you’d give me a chance.”

She got defensive. How she just couldn’t do that right now. It was all just too much to handle emotionally.

I said, “What are you afraid of?”

“What if it doesn’t work out? I can’t go through this again.”

“Well, what if it does work out? You don’t think it’s worth it to take that chance?”

She just kept saying, “I just can’t right now.”

She was getting upset, so I had to let up. I gave her an out. I said, “Okay, look. I get it. You’re not ready. The last thing I want to do is force you into something you’re not ready for. So how about this? Let’s just be friends for now. We date whoever we want. But when you’re ready, you promise you’ll let me know?”

She nodded yes and started to cry a little.

We had a few more drinks. I tried not to make fun of Sport Agent Dan, and then we took off.

But when I walked her back to her car she said, “Thank you.”

I said, “For what?”

She didn’t answer. She just kissed me. Then she left.

I got into my car and sat there for a while without turning on the ignition. What the fuck just happened?