I went to Staples just now and bought some fancy pens for the sign-in book for our wedding. At the cash register,
I also saw some Slim Jims. I don’t know why Staples sells Slim Jims, but I happen to enjoy a Slim Jim now and again as you may recall from my incident at the Ralphs when I bought 14 of them.
I don’t know why Slim Jims always get a reaction from the cashiers. They sell them, shouldn’t it be no big deal if someone buys them? Now I was buying 5 but that’s not that many.
The woman said, “You really like them Slim Jims.”
I said, “No, they’re for my dog.”
She looked at me kind of weird and said, “For real?”
“No, they’re for me. Are you happy? I’m buying five Slim Jims for myself, okay?”
She said, “I don’t care. As long as you don’t give ’em to your dog.”
I went to Ralphs with Michelle on Sunday. Just a normal grocery shopping excursion but Michelle was hungry so she ate a thing of sushi as we shopped.
We got to the checkout line and we placed the empty container on the conveyer belt along with all the food so we could pay for it. When it got to the checkout guy, he rang it up, but then he asked, “Should I throw this out or do you want it?”
I thought it was a weird question but it turns out, there was one piece of sushi left in the container. He showed it to me. I turned to Michelle and asked her if we were supposed to keep it. She said no, throw it out.
I looked at the checkout guy and said, “Now there’s a perfect example of how men and women are different. No man would ever in a million years leave one piece of sushi.”
Michelle defended herself, “I’m full.”
“So what?” I said, “It’s one little piece.”
The checkout guy took my side, saying “He’s right. Guys will finish anything you put in front of them as long as it’s good.”
Then the bagger girl got into the argument. “If she’s full, she’s full. Leave her alone.”
This went on for a while as they continued ringing me up and bagging my groceries. It was a pretty lively conversation.
Oh, and toward the end of the bagging, the girl took my pile of fourteen Slim Jims and waved them to the bagger girl in the next aisle and said, “Look how many Slim Jims this guy is buying!”