Hitting the Books

I went back to the public library. I went there once before with Gunther with good results so when Paul asked what I was up to yesterday, I said, “Let’s go to the library.”

After showing Paul the massive DVD collection (all free!)

we read magazines for an hour. People do the same thing in book stores, but I always felt guilty reading the magazines that you’re supposed to buy. No one else seems to have a problem with this because the magazine rack at B&N seems to have 99% browsers and 1% buyers. But I’m the guy constantly looking over my shoulder for the store manager to call the cops on me because I’ve been wrinkling the pages of Outlaw Biker Magazine. In the library, though, you can read all the magazines you want, all day long. And take as many DVD’s and watch them for free.

Anyway, one thing I love about the Santa Monica library is the screen saver they have on all the computers. It shows old pictures of Santa Monica from the 1930’s or the 1890’s. There will be some kid in a straw hat sitting on a hill eating a watermelon and the caption is “Children eating watermelon in front of Palisades Park, 1910.” And you think, “Wow, this area was the frontier back then.” I especially love the pictures of people at the beach in the 1920’s wearing twenty pounds of clothes, or women going swimming with long dresses on.

I was staring at the screen saver for like ten minutes when a guy interrupted me, “I love those pictures, too.” Turns out, Mitch works at the library. We got to talking and he found a book of old Los Angeles photos for me. I took the book home with me and have really enjoyed looking through it.

It’s cool to find something new you like and didn’t even realize it.

Jenny from the Froyo Shop

I went out with Jennifer Friday night. (She’s the girl I met at the frozen yogurt shop.) Picked her up in Santa Monica and went to the new mall for dinner at some place called Xino.

Jennifer is a buyer for Nordstroms and actually works at the mall. I don’t really get the whole concept of a buyer and even after she explained it to me I was still somewhat unclear. But that’s just her day job. Turns out, Jennifer is in a local band and plays clubs up and down the Sunset Strip.

That one piece of information totally changed my perception of her. Suddenly, she was a cool rocker chick instead of some fashionista. Actually, the idea of dating a girl in a band is a little intimidating. Like, if it ever worked out, would I have to go to clubs all the time and party till 6 am? Or if I didn’t go, wouldn’t she just hook up with random dudes in sleazy bathrooms? On the other hand, I bet she’d totally be up for a three-way.

As it turns out, none of those problems are presenting themselves at the moment. After a pretty good dinner, we went to the bowling alley on Pico and had a really fun time. But when I dropped her off, I went to kiss her and she turned her head. That’s right. I got the “cheek.”

I took this as a bad sign. Like, “I like you, but not that way.” I guess I should call her anyway, just to be sure, but it looks like this one went south on me for some reason.

Hot Women Also Love Frozen Yogurt

There’s this place on Montana in Santa Monica called “Menchies” and I have to say, the hottest women go there.

Maybe not as unbelievable as that cupcake place but still, it was pretty A-list. Plus, it’s almost all women. Practically no men. It kind of has a day-spa feel to it where women can go to let down their guard, eat two pounds of ice cream, I mean frozen yogurt, and just hang out with other women without being judged.

And that’s where I come into the picture. But don’t worry, I judged them all very favorably. And p.s., why do women in frozen yogurt shops all wear skin-tight yoga pants? It’s totally hot.

I went up to the one guy in the store (he worked there) and asked, “How come there’s so many pretty women in here?” Now this guy was a total stoner type, pretty overweight, with nerd/hip glasses so I knew I wasn’t going to get attacked by my question. He said, “Chicks dig the froyo.”

I asked, “What flavor do the hottest women prefer?”

He didn’t even think about it. “Dulce de leche.”

So I went over to the yogurt machine and said to no one in particular, “Yum, dulce de leche, my favorite.” A women who had just used that machine said, “Me, too.”

I said, “What toppings do you put on it?”

“Blueberries, walnuts, and hot fudge.”

I said, “That sounds terrible. I put crushed kit-kats, mini peanut butter cups, and m&m’s.” I was just making it up as I went along.

“Too much candy. You can’t overpower the yogurt.”

I laughed and said, “Hi, I’m Fletcher.” And I know this is going to sound hard to believe, but we actually ate our yogurts together and I got her phone number and I’m going to call her. Her name is Jennifer and she’s a buyer for a department store.

Honestly, I was just goofing around. I didn’t have some big plan to seduce froyo ladies. It just worked out that way.