Venus/Mars

I went to Ralphs with Michelle on Sunday. Just a normal grocery shopping excursion but Michelle was hungry so she ate a thing of sushi as we shopped.

We got to the checkout line and we placed the empty container on the conveyer belt along with all the food so we could pay for it. When it got to the checkout guy, he rang it up, but then he asked, “Should I throw this out or do you want it?”

I thought it was a weird question but it turns out, there was one piece of sushi left in the container. He showed it to me. I turned to Michelle and asked her if we were supposed to keep it. She said no, throw it out.

I looked at the checkout guy and said, “Now there’s a perfect example of how men and women are different. No man would ever in a million years leave one piece of sushi.”

Michelle defended herself, “I’m full.”

“So what?” I said, “It’s one little piece.”

The checkout guy took my side, saying “He’s right. Guys will finish anything you put in front of them as long as it’s good.”

Then the bagger girl got into the argument. “If she’s full, she’s full. Leave her alone.”

This went on for a while as they continued ringing me up and bagging my groceries. It was a pretty lively conversation.

Oh, and toward the end of the bagging, the girl took my pile of fourteen Slim Jims and waved them to the bagger girl in the next aisle and said, “Look how many Slim Jims this guy is buying!”

Salad Guy

Went to a new place where you make your own salads. Well, they make it for you, you just tell them what to put in it.

Not sure the idea makes sense as a business model, but there you have it.

The set-up did give me ample opportunity to talk to the salad-maker. He told me you get to choose four ingredients (on top of your lettuce), so I chose tomatoes, carrots, and cucumbers. Then I asked, “What’s the least popular item that people ask for?”

(This, by the way, is one of my favorite questions to ask in restaurants. What is the least-often-ordered item on the menu? Sometimes I ask my dining companion–Marny always hated this question, she always responded irately, “Why do you care?!”–and then we see who’s right by asking the waiter. At Jerry’s Deli, it’s the Romanian Skirt Steak. Since that was the first place I thought up the question, those who know me well will often refer to this as the “Romanian Skirt Steak” question.)

Anyway, the guy said, “Probably celery.” I said, “Not beets. Or baby corns?” He said, “No, people love beets.” The least popular ingredient is not always the strangest, I guess. Sometimes it’s just the most boring.

So I picked kidney beans as my fourth ingredient, and looked at the guy gleefully before saying, “Weren’t expecting that, were you?”

He said, “No, I was totally heading towards the onions. Good call.”

(That book 4-Hour Body says you should eat beans in every meal.)

I added chicken and bacon to make it delicious and we settled on a dressing. Overall, the salad was about as good as a salad bar. I don’t know, there’s just something about seeing it made that makes it not taste as good as a pre-thought-out salad. I mean, I love salads at like the Cheesecake Factory and CPK, but I would never go to the salad bar at Ralphs.