Marny, Meet Amanda. Amanda, Marny.

Went to the movies again with Marny today, this time to see “The Expendables” (the quid pro quo for “Going the Distance”).

We stopped by to see Scott who has to work at Take a Bao this weekend. I told him I looked at his lease and I’m not sure what he can do to prevent his landlord from evicting them. He thanked me anyway and gave us some free s’mores. 

Then, as we were leaving the food court, we saw Amanda. Yeah, that Amanda. My girlfriend from last year.

She smiled and said hi in a big cheery voice but I could tell she was really eyeing Marny. I found myself suddenly holding Marny’s hand and pulling her in close, subconsciously saying, “Yes, she’s with me.”

Now Amanda is pretty, but more in a cute way. She’s short and I guess you’d say “spunky.” But Marny is very pretty and tall and looks like maybe some sister of hers could be a model. Amanda was surprised. She said I looked good. I didn’t return the compliment. I just introduced Marny and said, “Good seeing you.” Then we took off.

As we walked away and I explained to Marny my history with Amanda, I should have been on top of the world. I mean, isn’t this every guy’s fantasy? To have his ex see him with a much hotter girl? But seriously, sometimes I think I can never just be happy–all I was thinking about was, I wish I was there with Elevator Girl instead. Then she’d really be jealous.

Going the Distance

Venice was fun. Monica and Gunther are like the parents I never had.

I mean, I have parents, but these two seem like a couple from another era. We sat on the sand in Venice and just hung out. No books to read. No paddle tennis. Just chilling, walking along the water, and talking.

So naturally I talked about Marny. I like her. Well, some aspects. She’s actually really smart and she’s got a quick wit. But she’s so obsessed with celebrity culture and trying to become a famous actress it really bugs me. Like if I don’t know who some loser from some reality show is, I’m the one who’s out of touch.

Gunther said something about acting in L.A. that I thought was kind of poetic. He said, “Trying to make it in this town is a no-win proposition. If you fail, it breaks your heart. And if you succeed, it destroys your soul.”

Wow. Nailed it.

So when I went out with Marny last night to see “Going the Distance” (crappy romantic comedies are the price you pay for dating), I couldn’t get the idea out of my mind. After the movie, Marny was analyzing Drew Barrymore’s performance in annoying “actor-speak” detail like how she was “in the moment” and shit like that.

Then she talked about getting new headshots, obsessed about some audition, and fantasized about being in a big Hollywood movie.

I said that it seems like actors are all narcissists. Everyone wants to be famous but nobody wants to do anything worth being famous for. She got all upset.

I tried to make it better by saying, “Why do you want to be famous anyway? Didn’t your daddy pay enough attention to you growing up?” I laughed.

She said, “Yeah, my Dad left us when I was seven.”

Oh, shit.

We went back to my place and just went to sleep. This morning I was thinking, great, now I’ve got a new reason not to like Marny. Not only is she obsessed with celebrity culture and being discovered, but she’s damaged. She’s got emotional scars.

And I’m writing this on my laptop right now as she’s sleeping right next to me and I’m thinking, I don’t feel like trying to fix her.

Everything Happens for a Reason

I was all set to break the bad news to Marny. I picked her up after work Wednesday and took her to dinner at Birds in Los Feliz.

Couple of things about that. First of all, I always think of a date as including dinner, but Marny seemed especially surprised and psyched to be going out to eat. I think maybe she doesn’t eat out that much or that the guys she dates limit her to the Super Value Menu. Whatever the reason, she was very appreciative of my old-fashioned ways. Second, Birds is really far away. I hope my next girlfriend lives closer to me.

Anyway, like I said, I was going to break it off after dinner. I was going to say something about how we don’t have anything in common. How I don’t want to lead her on. But during dinner, she said something that made me actually start to like her.

I was talking about how weird it was that we met through a guy I met at the mall and she said, “Yeah, well, everything happens for a reason.”

If you haven’t been following from the beginning, this is exactly what my old girlfriend Amanda used to say and it always bugged the shit out of me. But just as I was about to launch into a tirade, Marny laughed and said, “God, I hate people who say that.” Then she went off on stupid “spiritual” people who believe in mystical forces like fate and destiny. She summed it up by saying, “I guess everything does happen for a reason, if you include random chance as a reason!”

And suddenly, I liked her.

I guess I should have given her a chance. Not everyone makes a great first impression. Sometimes it takes some searching to find something likable in a person. The old me cut her off too quickly. I made up my mind without getting all the evidence. But the new me likes people. And now I like Marny.

So there you have it. Marny and I are officially dating.

What To Do about Party Girl

I’m going out with Marny after work. I know I should break things off with her but Paul says I should “enjoy it while I can” and Neil thinks

I should secretly video tape us having sex so I can watch it later. (Neil may have been kidding but I’m not sure. He probably hopes he can watch it.)

The point is, every guy I’ve talked to says to keep hooking up with her because Marny is hot and willing. One guy posted a comment about how I’m not married and I should be out there having as much meaningless sex as possible.

So I’m conflicted. Not that I have a lot of readers here, but any advice would be appreciated.

Party Girl

I went to that party at Scott’s friend’s apartment in North Hollywood. First of all, what a dump. How do people live there? I live in Brentwood where it’s literally ten degrees cooler, and by the way, it’s not much more expensive.

I know people who live in Santa Monica who pay the same as chumps in the valley.

Anyway, the party was at this director’s apartment. I use the term “director” loosely, as he has “directed” one short film starring Scott, and it’s about a guy who stops a mugging/rape only to find out in the end that it’s really just a cat and I guess he imagined everything else. I won’t go into detail about how bad the film is.

The party was mostly actors and I will say that actors are a pretty attractive bunch. There were a lot of cute girls there. I didn’t know anyone other than Scott so I made a beeline for him. He introduced me as his “lawyer friend” and I had to keep correcting him since I am a banker, not a lawyer. But he was already too drunk to make the mental note and continued calling me a lawyer.

I met a few people through Scott, including one really hot “actress” named Marny. I met a few other people on my own, asking a lot of open-ending questions. The one thing I learned was that it’s hard to make it big as an actor. That’s all anyone talked about. Auditions, callbacks, getting an agent. I saw “Swingers” a long time ago and it was exactly like that. I think when people found out I couldn’t help them they kind of lost interest.

So I went back to Marny and listened to her talk about a screenplay she’s writing about two women who rob banks and kill other women’s cheating boyfriends (real subtle). To be honest, it made absolutely no sense but I listened and nodded thoughtfully. This went on for a long time. Before I knew it, the party was breaking up and she was just finishing the story.

I figured maybe I’d get her number and call her sometime but suddenly, she says, “You want to go somewhere else?”

I was like, sure. So we went to some bar and had a few drinks. Then, when I really thought the night was over (it was like 4 am), she says, “Do you want to come back to my place?”

To be honest, I was shocked. I was literally speaking only 5% of the time. How can that be interesting enough to invite me back to her place? But I guess she just really likes people who listen.

We went back to her place and well, you know. Sunday morning was kind of awkward but I kissed her goodbye and said I’d call her.

All day yesterday I was thinking about two things: (1) should I call this girl? I mean, I didn’t really find her interesting. But she was very attractive and I think I’ve earned a meaningless physical relationship. On the other hand, where is this going to go? It’s going to end badly if it even begins, so why be an asshole and pretend to like her? On the other, other hand, I did say I’d call her…

The second thing I kept thinking about was Elevator Girl. I mean Michelle.