Goodbye, My Love

Gunther came by last night to pick up Ms. Pac Man. He brought some sketchy dude named “Gordo,” which I assumed meant his name was Gordon, but he said it didn’t and I didn’t pursue it any further.

I was really getting into the idea of being a guy with a giant video game in his apartment. Jennifer obviously liked it, so I can only assume it would be popular with most ladies. And why wouldn’t it be? It’s Ms. Pac Man after all. An icon of the women’s rights movement.

I realize of course that I could have just bought it from Gunther. In fact, I wondered whether that was his plan all along. But it’s a little frivolous to spend your money on shit like that and it did take up a lot of space. So tonight I helped the two of them move it out and into a shipping crate.

By the way, this guy Gordo, he’s a real weirdo. Apparently he does “odd jobs” for Gunther and other people he knows. But he didn’t say “odd jobs” like the phrase it usually said, like with equal emphasis on “odd” and “jobs.” He said it like, “ODD jobs,” like not miscellaneous, but actually odd.

I was like, “Oh really, what kind of ODD jobs do you do?”

He said he once drove a “friend’s” car into the dessert and abandoned it there. Then he had a different friend come pick him up. (He didn’t think to have the friend drive out there with him in the first place. Instead, he waited four hours by the side of the road.)

I asked him what was in the car. He said that information was “beyond his pay grade.”

I told him that he could have been charged as an accessory if he was concealing something illegal, like say, a dead body.

He replied triumphantly, “Yeah, and that’s why they paid me forty-five bucks!”

Well played, sir.

Jennifer, Meet My Girlfriend…

Well, it happened. Jennifer met my girlfriend who’s been living with me for the last week… Ms. Pac Man.

She loved it! We literally played Ms. Pac Man till 2:00 in the morning. On the one hand, it was fun just hanging out and playing the game while getting increasingly drunk. I really got to know her and Jennifer is an interesting chick. She is like a double agent, wearing really expensive clothes by day for her job as Nordstroms. But then her band plays on weekends and she is kind of scary as a rocker grrrl. (I haven’t actually seen her perform yet, maybe next weekend.)

So Jennifer had no problem with a giant vintage video game in the middle of my apartment. The only downside is that Ms. Pac Man may have technically cock-blocked me. I’m pretty sure Jennifer was up for some fooling around when she agreed to go back to my place. The fact that I didn’t get any action at all can only be the result of her falling asleep on my couch while I was on an especially long turn. (I did finally kiss her when we said goodbye Sunday morning, but you get the idea.)

So now I’m wondering, what happens when Gunther sells the game? What if Jennifer is really just using me for my access to free Ms. Pac Man?

Ms. Pac Man

Gunther as you may recall buys and sells things on eBay.

For a living. (The whole story is back here.) Anyway, he took delivery of a stand-up Ms. Pac Man machine and I agreed to let him keep it in my apartment. (Gunther’s place is filled with an amazing array of crap, ever-changing and totally useless.)

After the shipping guy, Gunther, and I got the thing into my apartment, two thoughts crossed my mind: first, would this game actually still be addictive after thirty years? It was set to free play, and Gunther said I could play it all I wanted until he sold it, but the question was, would I? Surely video games have come so far that a vintage game like this would hold no appeal.

Well, to answer the first question, Ms. Pac Man still has it. She’s a sexy beast and her age hasn’t made her any less attractive.

The other question I was wondering about is whether I will look like a tool to girls who may come back to my place on a date. I mean, what kind of loser has a 68″ Ms. Pac Man in his living room?

We shall see, because Jennifer the froyo chick is going out with me Friday night.