My Story So Far…

Closed on the big deal at work so now I have some time to update the blog. This is where things stand after about three months of the Project:

1. Scott has turned out to be a really cool roommate. He’s like a college roommate, only we’re not in college. It’s nice having someone there when I come home and a default person to do something with on the weekends. Scott met Gunther the other day and now Gunther has Scott convinced that he can make money on eBay like Gunther does, so Scott is thinking about quitting his job at Take a Bao and just trading shit on eBay between auditions. I guess it could work but Gunther seems a lot smarter than Scott.

2. Marny has become increasingly cold to me. First off, she didn’t like the fact that I’ve been working long hours the last two weeks. I think she thinks I’m cheating on her. I wish. Like I have time to sleep around, even if I knew any other women who wanted to sleep with me. Scott thinks Marny is being passive aggressive and what she’s really mad about is that I never reciprocated about the “I love you.” I told him she only said it once and that there’s no way she could be making such a big deal out of that little moment.

3. I haven’t seen Elevator Girl since our lunch but I have emailed her a few times to complain about being at work at three in the morning. We have a good casual friendship going and she’s even opened up to me about her boyfriend, Adam, who’s a heart surgeon. Great, like I can compete with that! Still, I’m going to try to have lunch with her again this week so we’ll see how it goes.

4. Monica and Gunther broke up. I couldn’t believe it when Scott told me. I thought they had what it takes to go the distance. Kind of undermines my faith in relationships. But Scott says that Gunther said “they still love each other, they’re just not in love anymore.” Sounds like there’s something else going on there. I wonder if I can still be friends with Monica.

5. I met three new strangers, even while I was working those insane hours. First, there’s the cleaning lady in our office, Maria. The cleaning crew only comes in at night so I’ve never met them before, but Maria is really nice and she’s got a son in Afghanistan, and two other sons in high school.

Palak is our contact for the bank in India. He’s working on the deal with me so technically not a stranger, but I’m counting him anyway. Palak likes vintage Heavy Metal and thinks nothing’s gone right since Ozzy left Sabbath.

Finally, I met a blind girl named Daphne. She’s a new intern at work. I have a million questions about how she goes through life, but I’m afraid to ask them because I don’t want to seem insensitive. Plus, she’s probably explained things so many times, I don’t want to make her repeat her life’s story. P.S. Daphne is gorgeous and even though she’s blind, she knows it. A lot of men must have told her over the years.

Elevator Girl

I finally emailed Michelle and asked her to lunch. I figured it would seem more casual to do it as a spur of the moment thing. So fifteen minutes after asking her, we were at the Houston’s in the mall having lunch.

I know this is going to seem like a shitty thing to say after my last post about my girlfriend telling me she loves me but I have decided that I love Michelle. I don’t know how I know, I just know.

It’s not that she’s mesmerized me with her beauty. I mean, she is beautiful. She has long, curly brown hair and an amazing smile. But it’s more than that. She’s so easy to talk to. I’m funny around her. I find myself liking myself when I’m with her (well, at least in my eighty minutes of interaction so far). It’s just a natural connection.

It’s exactly what I was talking about with Marny. With Marny everything is awkward. She doesn’t get my jokes. She doesn’t get me. With Michelle, we’re just on the same page without even trying.

Of course, there’s one problem. Well, two actually. Michelle was quick to mention her boyfriend.

“Hey, I love your suit. My boyfriend has almost the same exact one.”

I laughed. “Wow, only ten seconds into lunch and you already let the boyfriend bomb drop.”

She laughed.

I don’t care if this sounds incredibly lame but I’m going to marry her one day.

Marny, Meet Amanda. Amanda, Marny.

Went to the movies again with Marny today, this time to see “The Expendables” (the quid pro quo for “Going the Distance”).

We stopped by to see Scott who has to work at Take a Bao this weekend. I told him I looked at his lease and I’m not sure what he can do to prevent his landlord from evicting them. He thanked me anyway and gave us some free s’mores. 

Then, as we were leaving the food court, we saw Amanda. Yeah, that Amanda. My girlfriend from last year.

She smiled and said hi in a big cheery voice but I could tell she was really eyeing Marny. I found myself suddenly holding Marny’s hand and pulling her in close, subconsciously saying, “Yes, she’s with me.”

Now Amanda is pretty, but more in a cute way. She’s short and I guess you’d say “spunky.” But Marny is very pretty and tall and looks like maybe some sister of hers could be a model. Amanda was surprised. She said I looked good. I didn’t return the compliment. I just introduced Marny and said, “Good seeing you.” Then we took off.

As we walked away and I explained to Marny my history with Amanda, I should have been on top of the world. I mean, isn’t this every guy’s fantasy? To have his ex see him with a much hotter girl? But seriously, sometimes I think I can never just be happy–all I was thinking about was, I wish I was there with Elevator Girl instead. Then she’d really be jealous.

Party Girl

I went to that party at Scott’s friend’s apartment in North Hollywood. First of all, what a dump. How do people live there? I live in Brentwood where it’s literally ten degrees cooler, and by the way, it’s not much more expensive.

I know people who live in Santa Monica who pay the same as chumps in the valley.

Anyway, the party was at this director’s apartment. I use the term “director” loosely, as he has “directed” one short film starring Scott, and it’s about a guy who stops a mugging/rape only to find out in the end that it’s really just a cat and I guess he imagined everything else. I won’t go into detail about how bad the film is.

The party was mostly actors and I will say that actors are a pretty attractive bunch. There were a lot of cute girls there. I didn’t know anyone other than Scott so I made a beeline for him. He introduced me as his “lawyer friend” and I had to keep correcting him since I am a banker, not a lawyer. But he was already too drunk to make the mental note and continued calling me a lawyer.

I met a few people through Scott, including one really hot “actress” named Marny. I met a few other people on my own, asking a lot of open-ending questions. The one thing I learned was that it’s hard to make it big as an actor. That’s all anyone talked about. Auditions, callbacks, getting an agent. I saw “Swingers” a long time ago and it was exactly like that. I think when people found out I couldn’t help them they kind of lost interest.

So I went back to Marny and listened to her talk about a screenplay she’s writing about two women who rob banks and kill other women’s cheating boyfriends (real subtle). To be honest, it made absolutely no sense but I listened and nodded thoughtfully. This went on for a long time. Before I knew it, the party was breaking up and she was just finishing the story.

I figured maybe I’d get her number and call her sometime but suddenly, she says, “You want to go somewhere else?”

I was like, sure. So we went to some bar and had a few drinks. Then, when I really thought the night was over (it was like 4 am), she says, “Do you want to come back to my place?”

To be honest, I was shocked. I was literally speaking only 5% of the time. How can that be interesting enough to invite me back to her place? But I guess she just really likes people who listen.

We went back to her place and well, you know. Sunday morning was kind of awkward but I kissed her goodbye and said I’d call her.

All day yesterday I was thinking about two things: (1) should I call this girl? I mean, I didn’t really find her interesting. But she was very attractive and I think I’ve earned a meaningless physical relationship. On the other hand, where is this going to go? It’s going to end badly if it even begins, so why be an asshole and pretend to like her? On the other, other hand, I did say I’d call her…

The second thing I kept thinking about was Elevator Girl. I mean Michelle.

I Met Elevator Girl!

It finally happened. Just as I was leaving for the day the elevator door opened and there she was. And she was alone. I was caught off guard for a moment but I immediately realized I only had an elevator ride down to the lobby to make this happen so I just got in, let the door close, and said, “Hi, I’m Fletcher.”

I glanced a bit in her direction, but more or less stayed looking forward (i.e., practically no eye contact).

And apparently when someone introduces themselves, it’s a normal human reaction to respond in kind.

She said, “Michelle.”

“I’ve seen you before.” Stating the obvious but it’s a start.

“Yeah, I work at […].”

I told her where I worked.

Ding. We reached the lobby.

“Well, have a great weekend,” I said casually.

“You, too.”

And that was it.

Possibly the shortest, most insignificant conversation ever, but it felt amazing! You know why? Because first of all, I did what I said I was going to do and took control of my destiny. Second, now I know her name, so the next time we see each other, we won’t be strangers. It won’t be weird to talk.

On the drive home, I wondered why this was such a huge thing. I mean, isn’t communication like this the most basic human skill? How did we lose this ability to talk to people?