Ms. Pac Man

Gunther as you may recall buys and sells things on eBay.

For a living. (The whole story is back here.) Anyway, he took delivery of a stand-up Ms. Pac Man machine and I agreed to let him keep it in my apartment. (Gunther’s place is filled with an amazing array of crap, ever-changing and totally useless.)

After the shipping guy, Gunther, and I got the thing into my apartment, two thoughts crossed my mind: first, would this game actually still be addictive after thirty years? It was set to free play, and Gunther said I could play it all I wanted until he sold it, but the question was, would I? Surely video games have come so far that a vintage game like this would hold no appeal.

Well, to answer the first question, Ms. Pac Man still has it. She’s a sexy beast and her age hasn’t made her any less attractive.

The other question I was wondering about is whether I will look like a tool to girls who may come back to my place on a date. I mean, what kind of loser has a 68″ Ms. Pac Man in his living room?

We shall see, because Jennifer the froyo chick is going out with me Friday night.

Hot Women Also Love Frozen Yogurt

There’s this place on Montana in Santa Monica called “Menchies” and I have to say, the hottest women go there.

Maybe not as unbelievable as that cupcake place but still, it was pretty A-list. Plus, it’s almost all women. Practically no men. It kind of has a day-spa feel to it where women can go to let down their guard, eat two pounds of ice cream, I mean frozen yogurt, and just hang out with other women without being judged.

And that’s where I come into the picture. But don’t worry, I judged them all very favorably. And p.s., why do women in frozen yogurt shops all wear skin-tight yoga pants? It’s totally hot.

I went up to the one guy in the store (he worked there) and asked, “How come there’s so many pretty women in here?” Now this guy was a total stoner type, pretty overweight, with nerd/hip glasses so I knew I wasn’t going to get attacked by my question. He said, “Chicks dig the froyo.”

I asked, “What flavor do the hottest women prefer?”

He didn’t even think about it. “Dulce de leche.”

So I went over to the yogurt machine and said to no one in particular, “Yum, dulce de leche, my favorite.” A women who had just used that machine said, “Me, too.”

I said, “What toppings do you put on it?”

“Blueberries, walnuts, and hot fudge.”

I said, “That sounds terrible. I put crushed kit-kats, mini peanut butter cups, and m&m’s.” I was just making it up as I went along.

“Too much candy. You can’t overpower the yogurt.”

I laughed and said, “Hi, I’m Fletcher.” And I know this is going to sound hard to believe, but we actually ate our yogurts together and I got her phone number and I’m going to call her. Her name is Jennifer and she’s a buyer for a department store.

Honestly, I was just goofing around. I didn’t have some big plan to seduce froyo ladies. It just worked out that way.