On the Turning Away

We went to get froyo yesterday and Michelle had to run back to the car to get her frequent eater punch card.

So in the short time I was waiting for her I sampled the different flavors and started making comments out loud, like “Huckleberry? More like Suck-leberry.”

One hot woman laughed, and I felt the need to defend myself. I said, “You try it. It tastes like frozen salad dressing.”

She took a sample, shuddered, and I said, “See? Now the Boysenberry is actually pretty good but that’s not coming back till next month.”

She said, “You must come here a lot if you know their flavor rotation.”

I said, “Yeah, well, my fiance really likes to fill up her punch card.”

But suddenly, her smile just kind of faded. I wasn’t even thinking this was some kind of flirting thing, but I definitely got the sense that she was interested. Just then, Michelle came back in with her card and said, “What looks good?”

The hot girl said, “Enjoy your yogurt,” and continued on.

Michelle was like, “Making friends, I see.”

It was weird, ever since I stopped looking at women as potential dates, they’ve become more interested in me. Are women that into the air of indifference? I can’t believe that I’m acting any differently here.

Wrong Number

The other day, a lady called me at work and when I answered she said, “Oh, sorry, wrong number.”

I said, “What number are you trying to reach?”

She gave it to me, I told her where she went wrong and that was that.

Except it wasn’t.

Before she could hang up, I said, “Wait, let me ask you something. As long as I’ve got you on the phone, and you being a neutral third-party, I need to ask your opinion about something.”

She said, “Okay…” a little leery.

I asked, “Hypothetically speaking, say a guy is in love with a girl and that girl probably is into him, but she’s not ready to be serious yet because she just got out of a relationship. But then a different girl comes along, who’s cool and everything, and maybe would be fun to date, but isn’t like the first girl… would you date the second girl while you were waiting for the first girl?”

There was a long pause and then she proceeded to give me her opinion for about twenty minutes. It boiled down to “it depends.” Anyway, I took it as a green light to go out with Jennifer, so that’s why I did.

Oh, and p.s., I did call Jennifer on Tuesday and it turns out she did like me, but she had a cold sore and didn’t want to tell me. That’s why she turned her head away. I told her it was moves like that that could cost her the love of her life one day. Anyway, we’re going out again this weekend.

Jenny from the Froyo Shop

I went out with Jennifer Friday night. (She’s the girl I met at the frozen yogurt shop.) Picked her up in Santa Monica and went to the new mall for dinner at some place called Xino.

Jennifer is a buyer for Nordstroms and actually works at the mall. I don’t really get the whole concept of a buyer and even after she explained it to me I was still somewhat unclear. But that’s just her day job. Turns out, Jennifer is in a local band and plays clubs up and down the Sunset Strip.

That one piece of information totally changed my perception of her. Suddenly, she was a cool rocker chick instead of some fashionista. Actually, the idea of dating a girl in a band is a little intimidating. Like, if it ever worked out, would I have to go to clubs all the time and party till 6 am? Or if I didn’t go, wouldn’t she just hook up with random dudes in sleazy bathrooms? On the other hand, I bet she’d totally be up for a three-way.

As it turns out, none of those problems are presenting themselves at the moment. After a pretty good dinner, we went to the bowling alley on Pico and had a really fun time. But when I dropped her off, I went to kiss her and she turned her head. That’s right. I got the “cheek.”

I took this as a bad sign. Like, “I like you, but not that way.” I guess I should call her anyway, just to be sure, but it looks like this one went south on me for some reason.

Ms. Pac Man

Gunther as you may recall buys and sells things on eBay.

For a living. (The whole story is back here.) Anyway, he took delivery of a stand-up Ms. Pac Man machine and I agreed to let him keep it in my apartment. (Gunther’s place is filled with an amazing array of crap, ever-changing and totally useless.)

After the shipping guy, Gunther, and I got the thing into my apartment, two thoughts crossed my mind: first, would this game actually still be addictive after thirty years? It was set to free play, and Gunther said I could play it all I wanted until he sold it, but the question was, would I? Surely video games have come so far that a vintage game like this would hold no appeal.

Well, to answer the first question, Ms. Pac Man still has it. She’s a sexy beast and her age hasn’t made her any less attractive.

The other question I was wondering about is whether I will look like a tool to girls who may come back to my place on a date. I mean, what kind of loser has a 68″ Ms. Pac Man in his living room?

We shall see, because Jennifer the froyo chick is going out with me Friday night.

Hot Women Also Love Frozen Yogurt

There’s this place on Montana in Santa Monica called “Menchies” and I have to say, the hottest women go there.

Maybe not as unbelievable as that cupcake place but still, it was pretty A-list. Plus, it’s almost all women. Practically no men. It kind of has a day-spa feel to it where women can go to let down their guard, eat two pounds of ice cream, I mean frozen yogurt, and just hang out with other women without being judged.

And that’s where I come into the picture. But don’t worry, I judged them all very favorably. And p.s., why do women in frozen yogurt shops all wear skin-tight yoga pants? It’s totally hot.

I went up to the one guy in the store (he worked there) and asked, “How come there’s so many pretty women in here?” Now this guy was a total stoner type, pretty overweight, with nerd/hip glasses so I knew I wasn’t going to get attacked by my question. He said, “Chicks dig the froyo.”

I asked, “What flavor do the hottest women prefer?”

He didn’t even think about it. “Dulce de leche.”

So I went over to the yogurt machine and said to no one in particular, “Yum, dulce de leche, my favorite.” A women who had just used that machine said, “Me, too.”

I said, “What toppings do you put on it?”

“Blueberries, walnuts, and hot fudge.”

I said, “That sounds terrible. I put crushed kit-kats, mini peanut butter cups, and m&m’s.” I was just making it up as I went along.

“Too much candy. You can’t overpower the yogurt.”

I laughed and said, “Hi, I’m Fletcher.” And I know this is going to sound hard to believe, but we actually ate our yogurts together and I got her phone number and I’m going to call her. Her name is Jennifer and she’s a buyer for a department store.

Honestly, I was just goofing around. I didn’t have some big plan to seduce froyo ladies. It just worked out that way.