Part-A

We are having a party this Saturday night. Officially, it’s to welcome Scott to the neighborhood but unofficially it’s to invite Michelle.

Plus, I have met a lot of people in the past few months and I thought it would be fun to invite every stranger I’ve met. Well, the ones where I got their name and contact info.

Gunther is a given. I’m going to invite Monica as well because I think she’s cool and I don’t care if Gunther gets pissed off. Who knows, maybe the party will make them realize they should get back together.

I’m going to track down Polly, the girl with the three-legged dog. Plus Mario, I’ll text him. I will leave a note today for Hung (wonder what he looks like).

At work, I need to invite Kyle even though he’s a dick. If I don’t invite him and he finds out about it I’ll get a lot of shit. Neil obviously. Also have to remember to invite Janet, the receptionist. And Daphne. And Maria, the cleaning lady? She’s a bit out of the age range for this party, but it’d be nice to drop an invite anyway.

There’s a few others that might be weird to invite like Hector the newspaper guy and Ramon the dry cleaner but if I see them I’ll mention it.

Of course, Scott is inviting people, too, otherwise this party might be pretty pathetic. Maybe his director friend will bring a new girl for me to date after I break up with Marny and before I marry Michelle.

Speaking of Marny and Michelle, assuming Michelle comes, I wonder if Marny will sense that something is up. On the other hand, Michelle will probably bring her boyfriend Kal-El, so maybe I won’t even have a chance to talk to her.

Anyone else out there in L.A. who feels like dropping by a little shindig in Brentwood, drop me an email.

Compliments, part 1

1. As I step into the elevator to the only guy in there: “Hey! Nice tie!”

Guy’s confused response: “Huh? Oh. Thanks.”

Awkward elevator ride ensues.

2. On the phone to woman in H.R. in New York office whom I’ve never met: “Wow, you’ve got a great voice. You should be in radio.”

Her response: “You are so sweet. You know, I used to be a cabaret singer.”

We talked about that for three minutes before she told me where I could find the personnel transfer form (I’m not transferring out, someone is transferring into my department).

3. To the guy at dry cleaners (not Ramon): “I love your watch, man. Is that a Rolex?”

His response: “Thanks, no, it’s a TAG Heuer.”

I listened to him talk about all the features but I kept thinking does anyone really ever use the timer and stopwatch features on a watch when you can just use the ones on your phone?

All in all, Monday was pretty successful. Still, it’s hard to pull off not looking like a psychopath complimenting someone’s tie in a closed elevator.

The Proverbial Dry Cleaner

I keep mentioning the dry cleaner as the type of person I should be talking to. So when I actually went in this morning to drop off my dry cleaning, it was hard to avoid thinking about it.

I bit the bullet, looked up at the TV they have on CNN all day long, and led with…

“Hey, I bet there’s one group of people pretty psyched about the oil spill in the Gulf– the dry cleaners!”

I thought that was pretty funny for off the top of my head but all I got was a pity laugh. So I asked the guy who’s handled my dry cleaning for the last year and a half, “Hey, what’s your name?”

He said it was Ramon. He already knew my name from his computer screen but I introduced myself anyway. We talked about the oil spill, how his brother has a restaurant in New Orleans, and about how dry cleaning works. Not too deep but he did give me some extra 40% off coupons for next time.

When I pick up my dry cleaning tomorrow I’ll see if Ramon has any thoughts on that city manager down in Bell who was ripping off the whole town.