Michelle Speaks (to Me)

Michelle called last night. We talked for an hour. Still haven’t seen her in person since Thanksgiving, but I’ll take what I can get.

Here’s the crux of the problem. This relationship is not a trivial matter and we both know it. I made it clear from the very beginning that my feelings are very deep for Michelle. Turns out, she feels the same way. But since this is so “high stakes,” Michelle says she just needs to be sure. She says she couldn’t handle something this big not working out. The thing with Thanksgiving wasn’t so much about being mad or embarrassed. It was about trust and if she’s going to go out on a limb with me emotionally, she has to know I’m not going to hurt her.

I told her I would never hurt her. “But that’s exactly what someone would say if they were about to hurt me,” Michelle replied.

I laughed. Got me there.

So I said the only thing I could think of. I said, “There’s no guarantees. Sometimes you just have to take a risk. And I think the rewards of this working out are so big that the risk is justified.”

She thought about it. I said, “When can I see you?” She said she still needed to sort things out. To give her some time. I said okay.

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15 thoughts on “Michelle Speaks (to Me)”

  1. What you told her is not true…You will hurt her, and she will hurt you…Or there’s no point to your relationship. Not being perfect, you will both make mistakes, and those mistakes will hurt the other one, ’tis one of the least pleasant facts of life. The key is what you do *after* you’ve hurt one another…Do you realize the other is hurting, and try and fix things? Do you keep trying to show you’re right? Do you decide you can’t handle being hurt, and close yourself off? Lots of options…Though, IMO, the first is the way adults handle it…Easier said than done, ’tis true…As are most ‘adult’ choices.

    Now, if you say you will never *deliberately* hurt her…that’s a totally different promise, and is possible…Just be aware a fight were you lose your temper and/or control of your mouth can lead to a broken promise, and broken trust. Words having the power they do, I’d say you will do your best to never hurt her, and will always try and make things better in the end. ‘Tis a promise that requires only human levels of self control, and the conscious you already seem to have.

  2. Hey, Fletcher,

    Just spent a few hours nursing a cold while reading your entire project blog (side note: I’m guessing, if not already, you’ll lose count of the offers/invitations to adapt it into a film or novel). On the one hand, you have essentially let Michelle read your diary; while she may feel you’ve betrayed her trust, at the same time I can’t help but feel that you have offered her an inside look at so many of your major thoughts and feelings over the past year that it’s got to almost be a wash. But on the other hand, I can’t help but think that in some way you may have turned her into one of the very reality stars you despise.

    For the record, my wife told her parents 2 weeks into dating me that she was going to marry me. We hadn’t even said “I love you” yet at that point. We’ve been together for 16 years now. Sometimes you know, even when there’s no logic to it.

    In any case, I hope everything gets back to normal soon. You two seem like a good fit.

    1. Thanks for taking the time to leave the comment. No movie offers yet, thank God. You make a good point that all this sudden attention is pretty bad timing. I hope it doesn’t add fuel to the fire.

  3. Fletcher,
    Like many, I discovered your blog tonight and read through the entire thing. It honestly feels like I just read a novel that ended with a cliffhanger. Your emotions aside, it is truly ridiculous that so many people are stumbling onto this blog on the particular week it ends in a culmination of what its been building since day one with a giant “to be continued”.

    I’d like to let you know that this blog has really inspired me to work on being more of a people person too. I think it’s amazing what you’ve done, seriously. I’m sorry mistakes along the way are troubling you now, but I have faith things will work out for you one way or the other.

    For selfish reasons I hope you will keep this blog going for a long time, and continue to document talking with strangers. I think you should know you’ve impacted the lives of strangers reading this blog as much as you’ve impacted the life of the ones you’ve talked to in person.

    You seem like a great person, and I’m rooting for you and Michelle.

  4. It’s not “your diary” that Michelle has found. You’ve been describing her personal/intimate life in detail, for the entire world to gawk at for their own entertainment (your entertainment). And you didn’t “let her,” her brother outed you.

    “Betrayal of trust” doesn’t come close. You’re a dick. You’ve gotten pretty far away from your premise, and mostly just describe other people in critical and mocking ways, so that you can feel a sense of superiority and yuck it up with your readers behind your subjects’ backs, to feed your own needy ego, or a need for some kind of “blogger fame.”

    In short, you’re a dick. And hardly original. This is no different than Jr. High kids starting a “secret” Facebook page to mock the fat kid, using him as the commodity to use/abuse, and with which to bond with your fellow assholes and bullies. This is one of the negative results of the ready availability of free, worldwide publishing that blogs, forums, etc. offer people today.

    You’re not unique, you’re not enlightened, and there’s a reason you’ve found yourself alone and disconnected from other people. Because you have a real dick-ish perspective on other people and their feelings, and their inherent worth or the value of them. Got a bit of the sociopath in you, actually.

    It’s not your right to document and publicize the failings or idiosyncrasies of everyone around you, as some kind of snickering product to sell to the world to benefit your own egotistic need for appreciation or fame. You, fully deserve to forever sit at home alone and unfulfilled, pondering exactly how/why you find yourself there. Anyone with any sense, or just simple intuition, will avoid you like a disease.

  5. What you’re missing, like a congenital defect, is humility. And compassion. And empathy.

    Work on that, not on publicizing the lives and traits and words of other people, as something to sell to obtain approval and admiration for yourself.

    You’re exploiting other people without their permission, for your own personal gain. I’m not impressed.

  6. I’ve got to take issue with some of “annoyedreader”s observations. I won’t even necessarily disagree with his/her characterizations, many of which I would agree are viable interpretations based on the blog’s content. But from the initial blog post, Fletcher was pretty honest that he can be fairly critical of other people. He often acknowledges his own hypocrisy.

    Your assertion that he has no right to document and publish the idiosyncrasies of the people around him is ludicrous. If that were the case, about 50% of art would not exist, as well as a much higher percentage of blogs, facebook posts, etc. He has every right to do it – in fact he has the right to be a dick about it if he wants. It’s his blog – read it or don’t. I also don’t see how anyone he has discussed has been “exploited.” Even assuming he has used real first names, they are not far from identifiable figures. And it’s completely different than bullying – I actually find it a little offensive that you try to simply try to equate writing that includes some snark, as this blog clearly does at times, with the buzz-issue of the day in “bullying.” Your equation minimizes what I agree is a serious issue regarding technological bullying.

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