The Help

Friday night was really… interesting. First of all, Michelle picked “The Help” to go see. They should have handed out Ziploc bags to the six men in the theater to store their balls.

There is no way any guy in the world would ever see that movie without the promise or hope of sex from their female companion. I was the exception, as I expected nothing from Michelle except maybe a little pre-wedding jitters and boring girl-talk about her fiance.

That’s not what happened. We saw the movie. It wasn’t that bad. I asked, “So should I drop you off?” She said, “Let’s get a drink.” I thought, “Oh, no, here it comes.”

We went to The Tavern in Brentwood for $15 drinks and Michelle finally explained why she wanted to see me.

“Dan and I are having troubles.”

I stopped her right there. I’d been preparing for this conversation all that day and so I knew what I was going to say. “Look, I’m not your girlfriend. I think it’s really shitty for you to dump this crap on me. I like you and I want to be your friend, but I’m not going to help you patch things up with some other guy.”

She seemed kind of shocked. She took a drink. Then she said, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

After that, things got a lot better. We agreed not to talk about relationships and we just talked. About normal stuff. About the movie. It was almost like it was back when I first met her. When she’s not acting all weird or drunk, Michelle is really great. She has a great sense of humor and she’s smart, too.

I took her back to her apartment complex and pulled over to the curb waiting for her to get out. I said, “Good night. This was fun.”

Then she kissed me.

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you know this isn’t the first time she’s done that. But I was still surprised. I didn’t fight it (duh) but after a good thirty seconds, I said, “Michelle, what are you doing?”

She said, “I don’t know.” She started crying. She said, “Things are really messed up right now.”

I said, “Go home. Go to sleep. Let’s talk about it tomorrow.” And she left.

I called her on Saturday and on Sunday but she didn’t return my calls.

How do I get into these situations?

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7 thoughts on “The Help”

  1. Whatever you do, do not get into any relationship past friends with Michelle. Not even friends with benefits. Its clear Michelle likes you but she might also be a little crazy. Ive been following you for a while and would recommend not getting involved with her.

    Or you could let loose and turn this blog into a romantic daytime drama.

    1. Trust me, the last thing I want to do is get drawn into her drama. I literally haven’t heard a word from her since Friday night. She is totally blowing me off, so there’s a good chance I won’t be talking to her again any time soon.

  2. Amen, AvidReader (and Lil)!

    Anyone who reads the Fletcher Files with regularity knows that Elevator Girl is more trouble than she’s worth. It’s amazing how much crap cute women get away with … they’re never held to the same standards that all other grown-ups are. I guess the fact that some innate rules of attraction can still pretty much overpower any rational judgment we’re capable of says a lot about how primal we humans still are after all these millennia. *sigh*

    Fletcher, I’m psyched that you held strong and didn’t let her bitch about her relationship to you (and that you didn’t fight the kiss; might as well enjoy the one positive thing she has to offer, as long as it doesn’t suck you in to the EGNightmare more than you can control), but AvidReader’s dead-on. Even if EG breaks up with the Danhole and doesn’t run immediately to some new guy and turns really nice for a few months and treats you like a precious metal or two, there’s NOTHING in your experiences with her in the past year+ that indicates that she wouldn’t flip out on you and leave you in the dirt with no notice if you do end up dating somehow.

    I know it will be hard to resist her because of how you feel about her (and b/c of how things went with Chloe), but for your own sake, DON’T get involved. She’s the Ultimate Stranger (in that you’ll never know what the hell’s going on in her head), and no amount of talking to her is going to make that nutty, selfish part of her go away.

    But more kissing would be good. 🙂

  3. Ok,

    I got this far without commenting but that line about the Ziplock ball bag…. hahahah!!!
    Such a refreshing take on the modern condition, you tell it well.


    P.S I hope they don’t have any keylogger installed on my unix workstation , I spent a good 2 hours reading this today 🙂

  4. “Look, I’m not your girlfriend. I think it’s really shitty for you to dump this crap on me. I like you and I want to be your friend, but I’m not going to help you patch things up with some other guy.”

    That is the best thing you could have said, well played, sir. So many guys make the mistake of just listening to the endless relationship problems of the women they are in love with and all it does is get them thrown in the friend zone.

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