Chloe, Meet Michelle

The party at Scott’s place was fun, until Michelle showed up!

I had no idea she had become friends with that director friend of Scott’s independently and got invited, so it was a pretty big surprise to see her there. Of course, she was there with her fiance, Dan, and something about seeing them together really set me off. Chloe could tell something was up because she pulled me aside and asked, “How do you know each other?’

What could I say? “Oh, she’s the woman I’m in love with who’s getting married to some other guy?” Instead, I said, “We work in the same building.”

Michelle waited until Chloe was in the bathroom to corner me and I guess she was drunk because she kept going on and on about “How come we don’t talk anymore?” I was like, “I think the frequency went down significantly after you got engaged!”

She said, “Remember when we kissed?” Yeah, like I’d forget that.

I said, “What are you doing?”

She said, “I don’t know.”

Nothing happened between us, but it made me see her in a new light. She was acting kind of stupid and it made her really unattractive to me. She made me promise that we’d talk more. Emails, lunches, that kind of stuff. I said I would.

Chloe came back and interrupted us. I left Michelle and asked Chloe if she wanted to go get something to eat (it was one a.m.). She sensed the subtext and said sure.

We didn’t actually go get something to eat, but we did go back to my place and we finally did it. I know most readers are thinking, “Wait, you guys haven’t done it yet?” We hadn’t. But now we have. I’m not going to go into that level of detail as to why.

But I was wondering if Chloe felt threatened. Michelle gets a rise out of me, even if it’s a negative emotion. It seemed like something about it made her need to “lock me in.” I’m not complaining but the whole thing makes my head hurt.

Salad Guy

Went to a new place where you make your own salads. Well, they make it for you, you just tell them what to put in it.

Not sure the idea makes sense as a business model, but there you have it.

The set-up did give me ample opportunity to talk to the salad-maker. He told me you get to choose four ingredients (on top of your lettuce), so I chose tomatoes, carrots, and cucumbers. Then I asked, “What’s the least popular item that people ask for?”

(This, by the way, is one of my favorite questions to ask in restaurants. What is the least-often-ordered item on the menu? Sometimes I ask my dining companion–Marny always hated this question, she always responded irately, “Why do you care?!”–and then we see who’s right by asking the waiter. At Jerry’s Deli, it’s the Romanian Skirt Steak. Since that was the first place I thought up the question, those who know me well will often refer to this as the “Romanian Skirt Steak” question.)

Anyway, the guy said, “Probably celery.” I said, “Not beets. Or baby corns?” He said, “No, people love beets.” The least popular ingredient is not always the strangest, I guess. Sometimes it’s just the most boring.

So I picked kidney beans as my fourth ingredient, and looked at the guy gleefully before saying, “Weren’t expecting that, were you?”

He said, “No, I was totally heading towards the onions. Good call.”

(That book 4-Hour Body says you should eat beans in every meal.)

I added chicken and bacon to make it delicious and we settled on a dressing. Overall, the salad was about as good as a salad bar. I don’t know, there’s just something about seeing it made that makes it not taste as good as a pre-thought-out salad. I mean, I love salads at like the Cheesecake Factory and CPK, but I would never go to the salad bar at Ralphs.