Commissioner Gordo

Gunther came by last night with that nut-job Gordo. Apparently, their GPS-enabled sneakers found a backer.

Seriously. Some moron gave these two idiots half a million dollars to go into production. (If you don’t remember the idea, it’s to put GPS tracking devices in sneakers that are linked to Twitter or Facebook so when you turn it on, everyone knows exactly where you are all the time.) They are calling the shoes “Trakkers.”

Initially I thought, “Why would anyone want to be tracked? Why would anyone want the world to know where they are every second of the day? Don’t people value privacy?”

Then I remembered that no, no one wants privacy anymore. Everyone wants the exact opposite: fame. We are becoming so narcissistic as a society with useless status updates and tweets that of course we want people to know where we are. How else would all our “friends,” “fans,” and “followers” stay in touch with our every inane thought and move?

I know I’m not the first to say it, but it needs to be said again: Most people have little if anything interesting going on in their lives. Not everyone can be a celebrity. Not everyone deserves an audience.

Maybe this is hypocritical. After all, I’m writing this blog, aren’t I? Is the implication, “You have nothing worthwhile to say but I do”?

I guess the difference is, I only post my interactions with strangers (and some updates on my love life) when they are interesting and on topic. I don’t post “Go Bruins!” or “I hate my boss!” And I don’t tell you where I am all day long!

So long story short, I will not be buying Trakkers. Will you?

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5 thoughts on “Commissioner Gordo”

  1. I guess I gotta’ give the guys credit for reading the culture and coming up with something that somebody would invest in.

    That being said, Trakkers sounds like the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of.

  2. I couldn’t imagine why anyone would post/read Tweets, and yet it’s apparently some massive, bankable phenomenon. I don’t tweet nor have a Facebook account and I’m just not interested in either (primarily b/c I don’t have enough time and value my privacy); yet, I’m constantly quasi-harassed by friends/family whenever I ask how they/they’re children are (inevitable response: “Just check on Facebook, ahole”). Who in the world cares about everything you’re thinking and/or doing? I don’t get it, but I’m way in the minority even for my age group (40+).

    So Trakkers will be a hit if they’re not too expensive b/c American popular culture has always been … well, odd.

    And I feel that a blog is a totally acceptable place to post whatever’s in your head. Some people will read and like, most people won’t: c’est la ‘Net. Same thing with Trakkers … I think we’ll all be astounded at how many people _need_ to know where Charlie Sheen is at all times.

  3. I disagree with the premise that most people are boring. I think most people just don’t know how to tell their stories in ways that make them interesting.

  4. Did trakkers become the huge seller they should have or are they in the bottom drawer of useless crap once made no one bought?!

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