Penny Sluts

I’m still catching up from Vegas. We had so much fun and I personally talked to so many strangers that it’s going to take a while to write about them all.

But first some information to clear up. In response to reader demand, I can divulge the following information: Yes, Chloe and I slept in the same bed; but no, we didn’t do it. How did I handle that bit of awkwardness? Simple. I simply told her as part of the invitation. (I think my exact words were, “We’ll get a big king bed, it’ll be like a sleepover, but no sex.”)

With sex off the table, it made the whole weekend a lot more fun. To tell you the truth, telling Chloe before-hand that there would be no sex actually seemed to make her up for it. At least that’s the vibe I got. Like, I said “no sex” because that’s what you do in that situation, but she wasn’t holding me to it as a firm promise, and in fact, may have been surprised that I actually kept my end of the bargain. But I didn’t mind. We had fun and I’m sure we’ll cross that bridge soon enough.

Anyway, the first stranger I want to mention is this escort/prostitute named “Jelly.” Now maybe I shouldn’t be so proud of myself here. After all, pretty much everyone in Vegas is in a talkative mood. You can’t sit at a Blackjack table and be surprised if people strike up a conversation. That just goes with the territory of gambling. But Jelly was a different story. Jelly was a “penny slut.”

Allow me to explain. Apparently if you are a prostitute (which is illegal in Vegas in case you’ve never seen CSI or Reno 911), you can’t loiter in a casino looking for customers or they’ll kick you out. So what the clever escorts do is hang out at the penny slot machines. A normal gambler might put a dollar in at a time and play a million lines for five cents each so the penny slot machine gets expensive really fast. But the prostitute literally play one penny at a time. Hence, they are gambling. Hence, they are customers, not loiterers.

Anyway, Chloe and I learned about this when we noticed all these obvious prostitutes hanging around the penny slots at two in the morning. I walked up to an Asian woman and said, “What’s the deal with all the escorts playing penny slots?”

At first, she didn’t want to talk to us. It was obvious we weren’t looking to hire her for a three-way and so we were theoretically hurting her business opportunities. But she quickly realized that there were no such opportunities at the moment and decided that talking to us was more interesting than gambling 1c.

And that’s how we learned about penny sluts. (The “sluts” part is an inside joke because that’s what Chloe thought Jelly kept saying.”)

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